Bryan wasn’t sure if Clarke understood how much those words meant to him. The weight in his shoulders felt a little lighter, letting them relax from how tense he was holding himself. He took a deep breath, just letting the words wash over him again. Were they real? He opened his eyes after a moment, lifting his head to look up and over at where the girl was.
“… You really think so?” He asked in a soft voice.
14. My muse left yours, promising it would be only for a couple of minutes. They come back in a couple of years.
Bryan had stepped out of the bunker for five minutes. He’d promised Clarke that it would be five minutes tops. Five minutes for him to do a quick scan of the outer area, to make sure that there was no one else that was out there, that everyone was safe in the bunker that they’d managed to find. Five minutes before they were going to lock and seal the door completely so that they could survive the five years it would take for the radiation to be survivable again.
Six minutes. He glanced down at the watch he had on, realizing that it had been six minutes. And he was at least three minutes away from the bunker if he ran. He took a few steps back towards the bunker, heart pounding in his chest. Would he make it? Could he? If he sprinted, if he could get back… But no, Clarke had told him when they were sealing up the bunker, and that they wouldn’t be opening the door again. Not until it was over.
There was a loud rumble, and Bryan’s heart sank to his stomach. No… No, they couldn’t have been that accurate. They couldn’t have been that right, could they? That the storm was now? He ran. He ran, and ran, and ran, and stumbled, and fell… only to find a door in his face. What was this? He yanked it open, and seeing that it seemed to be shelter, quickly ducked into it. Maybe it wouldn’t work, but if he could at least die being comfortable…
Five Years. Five years passed with Bryan curled up in the small underground shelter. Five years of suffering; because the bunker was safe, but not completely; because somehow he would get blisters, and others he wouldn’t. Five years of starving, of taking the few cans of food that had been left, and rationing himself enough to just barely survive. Five years of marks on the walls, counting down the days until thought he could return above ground.
Five years and one day. He waited and waited, glancing at the stairs, wondering when would be time to try again. The small space he was in was so claustrophobic, and all he wanted was some fresh air. All he wanted was to get out of there and go to the bunker, to see if his people had survived, to see if they were still alive, and how they all were. He slowly pulled himself up off the couch, a shell of what he’d been when he got down here, ready to live again.
Then he heard it. Yells. Cheers. People’s voices. His heart leapt and he tried to quicken his steps. He could hear them. It was faint, but they had to be nearby. Were they all out there? Testing and seeing that they could live? He forced himself to climb the stairs, wincing at how heavy the door felt now as he pushed it open, wobbling and nearly falling. He pulled himself out of the hole in the ground, glancing around.
…Clarke. Bellamy. Octavia… He let out a weak laugh. They were there. He could see them. Yards away, but there, with so many others, so many who’d been save in the bunker. He couldn’t stop grinning, because they’d done it. They’d survived. They were five years older, but they’d survived. He struggled, trying to push himself up to stand, wanting to get closer, to go see them. His body was weak though and he wobbled…
Then Clarke was there, grabbing onto him to hold him up, looking at him in shock, like she’d thought he was just a hallucination or something. He was breathing hard with how much of a struggle it was, but smiled more at Clarke. “Guess those… minutes turned… into years, huh?” He tried to joke with his friend, as he heard the others coming over to them.
Put “Knock Knock” in my inbox. I’ll use a random number generator and respond to… –
5. Your character walking in on mine waking from a nightmare. || Accepting
They were gone. They were all gone. Miller’s lifeless body was lying a few feet away, Bellamy’s was against a tree, Harper’s was across a rock… and more and more, they were everywhere. All of them were gone, and he was the only one left. He was all alone, and then he heard the sound of horses, and he knew, he knew that he wasn’t going to last long, that–
The sound of a door opening was enough to startle and pull the boy out of his nightmare. He shot up in bed, his shirt clinging to him where he was soaked in sweat, tangled up in the covers. Breathing hard, he glanced around, trying to ground himself back to reality and figure out what was going on. Nate wasn’t there, so he was assuming that he’d already left for guard duty, knowing that he’d had a shift that night.
He glanced at the door, and tried to put a sheepish smile on his face at seeing Clarke. “Hey,” His voice was shaky and his hands were shaking even worse, but he pushed the covers off of him and swung his legs over the side of the bed to sit up more. He swallowed thickly, trying to calm his heart from how hard it was pounding in his chest, and to play off the fact that Clarke had clearly just walked in on him waking up from some nightmare.
“Everything alright out there? You need me up? I can get my jacket and stuff on really quick,” He added after a pause, wanting to be productive. That and part of him needed to get up and check on the others as well; just to be absolutely sure his nightmare hadn’t been real, and to see that they were alright and safe.
It had been hard the past few days; getting back to Arkadia, helping with the wounded or dead, and learning that they were going to have to find a way to survive or they’d be dead in six months. Bryan knew it was a weight on all their shoulders, but none more so than Clarke’s. She was the one who’s spoken to A.L.I.E. and who had had to bring the information back to them. She was the one who’d had to destroy the city of light. Bryan couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard all of this was for her.
They’d made a plan, and he knew that tomorrow they were going to head out to Ice Nation; back to where his father had been killed, where so many of Farm Station had been killed, to find what they were looking for. He was scared, and he hated it. That place had so many bad memories for him, but he was going to do it. He had to do what he could to help their people, just like he knew Clarke and the others would here.
He’d been up and about for a walk, despite the fact that his wound was still healing. The pain was a nice distraction from everything else, he figured, and the air might be doing him some good. At least, if not, he could pretend. Still, he was hobbling around Arkadia as the sun went down, just needing to move. It was when he turned a corner and saw Clarke curled up against the wall of the outside of one of the buildings, that he paused.
“Hey,” He spoke softly, moving closer to his friend. He watched her with worried eyes, and waited until she patted the ground next to her before he sat down too. He didn’t know what to say; what could help in this situation? His normally soothing words felt like they’d just sound hollow at this point. How could he say that it was going to be okay? To be so sure that they’d get through this? Were those the words that Clarke even needed right now? Were words going to matter at all?
His friend didn’t seem to want words, or to speak, instead scooting closer and wrapping her arms around him tightly. And well, this he could do. He wrapped his arms around her in return, cuddling close with her and resting his chin on her head when she hid against him. Words weren’t needed right now, he realized. The comfort of a friend was what they’d both needed, and he felt the tension in her shoulders lessen a little. As she snuggled closer to him, he realized that the comfort of someone who wasn’t pushing her was probably just what she needed instead.
He wasn’t sure what would happen tomorrow, but he knew one thing; he would do anything for his friends, just as Clarke would. They had their significant others, and all of their friends, and they could do this. Bryan believed in them, more than ever. He absently played with Clarke’s hair, letting her relax for the moment, before they’d get ready for what was to come.
Waking up early had always been something that Bryan had done; if not for school, then for work, or just because well, he felt more energized in the morning. Even with Miller, he’d woken up long before his boyfriend, ever a morning person; though now anymore since he’d been reunited with him, he spent most mornings that he woke up early to just watch his lover sleep.
This morning he hadn’t done that though, he’d rolled out of bed and gotten dressed, heading out the door and towards the exit so that he could get some work done. The plants were growing well and he was sure that they’d be able to be harvested soon, but there was one in particular that was doing a little poor, and he wanted to give it a little extra water this morning to see if it would help.
“Hey, Clarke,” He spoke at seeing the girl was already up and around as well, “Wanna walk with me? I’ve gotta head out to the field and see what’s going on.” He smiled at his friend, holding his hand out to her.
Chuckling, Clarke nodded her head. “Yeah, I’ll walk with you,” She spoke, “I’m going to head out to one of the villages and talk to them about the evacuation planning. We’ve got an area that we think will work out for the building so we can all get out of here.”
She reached out for Bryan’s hand, playfully swinging it back and forth, which made them both chuckle, grateful for a little happiness amidst the scary that was happening at the moment. They walked out the door and headed down towards the lane out of Arkadia, their boots crunching a little on the ground, both of them too focused on being silly to notice yet.
As they reached the field, Bryan noticed it first; that there was white, a glossy like layer to the plants. Sure, it had been getting a little colder, but what was this? He let go of Clarke’s hand, walking over and bending down to examine one of the plants, before suddenly dropping his hand and stumbling back, falling to sit on the ground.
“Bryan?” Clarke’s voice was worried as she quickly stepped over to Bryan’s side, kneeling beside him and putting a hand on his arm, wondering what was going on. “Bryan, what is it?” She asked, trying to shake him out of the trance he was in, worried more at the way he seemed to be breathing heavily. She looked over at the plant, and noticed that something was on it.
Frost.
“… Bryan, it’s okay, I’m sure the plants will be fine and we’ll figure something out. We knew it was getting colder, and we should have expected this. I mean, they did teach us about it in earth science, it doesn’t meant that we’ve lost the plants or anything, bu–” Clarke stopped as she noticed that it wasn’t helping, and Bryan still seemed to be breathing just as hard.
“They’ll come,” Bryan finally choked out, shaking and breathing heavily, “It’s cold and there’s frost and it’ll turn to snow and then they’ll be here and they’ll kill and it won’t matter if the plants survive because we won’t, and they’ll be here and…” He was babbling now, rambling and trembling, curling up into a ball as he started to almost cry.
Clarke was confused for a moment, wondering what was going on, before it clicked. Bryan equated the cold and snow to Ice Nation, and he was terrified of them. “Oh Bryan…” She spoke softly, moving to wrap her arms around the boy and try to comfort him. Once he was calmed down, she would explain that they were okay.
“Are you really going to just sit there and glare at me until the others get here?”
Bryan’s glare darkened a little at Clarke’s words and he let out a huff. “Considering I don’t want to speak a word to you, yes, I’d prefer to just sit here and glare and make sure that you’re not going to run off again, until the others get here. Then, they can deal with you.” It was a harsh snap, but one that he felt she rightly deserved. How could she keep running off on them, and leaving them in danger?
“You know that if I’d known that an attack was going to happen like that, I wouldn’t have left,” Clarke huffed out, “I’m sorry, but it’s not my job to babysit everyone, make sure that the grounders aren’t going to attack, and try and find a way to save us before the world ends. Or, did you forget that that’s going to happen too, huh? Because it sure doesn’t look like you’ve been doing anything to take care of the problem.”
Bristling at her words, Bryan clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. The look he gave her was full of anger and hate, something that was so uncharacteristic for the boy who was normally so kind. Despite her attempt to get him to talk, he still refused. Instead, he pulled his gun a little closer and kept his eye focused on her. If looks could kill, well, he’d be sitting there alone then.
“See?” Clarke spat from where she was sitting, though fell silent after a moment, frustrated and annoyed that he was acting like this towards her. When the silence was too much, she snapped again, “It’s not like I can go anywhere now anyway, considering you’ve got me chained up like a monster. Maybe go see if the others are coming, be useful.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Bryan snarled at Clarke, “You don’t get to tell me to be useful, when you ran off to do god knows what, when we were here, trying to make peace again, and trying to figure things out. You left, Clarke! You ran off to go play in the woods again, and you weren’t there to help us! It’s your fault!”
“It is not my fault!” Clarke yelled back at him, “Don’t you dare try and tell me that I wasn’t doing anything when–”
“When you left?” Bryan interrupted, “When you took off with the flame and acted like you were going to save the whole damn world single handedly? Because you’ve clearly done such a great job with that, angering the grounders even more. It’s your fault, Clarke. If you had stayed here, they’d be alive. They’d both be alive, and things would be different.”
“Don’t blame their deaths on me!” Clarke’s voice wavered, clear she was blaming herself anyway, “Don’t you dare say that their deaths are my fault, when they were trying to protect you. Maybe if you were a little smarter, or a little braver, or not so worried over some stupid damn chickens–”
“It’s NOT MY FAULT!” Bryan screamed at her, lifting the gun up to aim it at Clarke, hands shaking, finger trembling near the trigger, “Nate and Harper didn’t have to protect me, I was trying to protect them! I was going to be the last one in! I was going to make sure they were safe first! The doors were closing and I froze, because I thought I saw you! I thought you’d finally come back to help us, but it wasn’t you. They stepped out and shoved me back in, just… just as the doors closed before they could get in too…”
Sobbing, Bryan let his gun fall to the ground. He put his head in his hands, crying hard and feeling broken as he remembered what had happened. Watching his boyfriend and best friend be trapped on the other side, while the grounders were closing in. It haunted him, and he would never stop blaming himself, no matter how much he wanted to blame Clarke.
Clarke went quiet as Bryan broke down like that, heart sinking in her chest. It was quiet then other than the harsh sobs that the younger boy was letting out, and Clarke didn’t know what to do. What could she do? She couldn’t bring them back, couldn’t comfort Bryan, couldn’t apologize, because she had been there, he had seen her, but she hadn’t stepped forward. Instead, the silence fell again, and she wondered if the others were going to blame her when they got there too.
Bryan was quiet, leaning against Miller and listening to the others talk. Clarke and Bellamy were snarking at each other, Octavia was sharpening her blade, Monty and Harper were whispering together… It all looked so cozy for what was happening. They were in some stupid cave, trying to make their way towards another lead they had about how to save the world. It looked cozy though, a bunch of friends all gathered together, chatting and being silly, feeling as if it were a family.
A family that Bryan felt he didn’t belong in.
He was startled from his thoughts as Jasper threw the piece of wood he’d been playing around with into the fire and stood up. “I’m going to get some sleep, maybe all of you should too, you know,” Jasper spoke, and the others slowly began to agree with him. One by one, the others stood up and moved to lay down and sleep, deciding the last one up should be watch.
“I’ll do it,” Bryan spoke up when it was just him, Miller, Clarke, and Bellamy awake. Miller and Bellamy seemed to take this with no problem, moving to get their own spots to lay down, while Bryan moved and grabbed a gun, heading towards the mouth of the cave. Leaning against the stone, he took a shaky breath, trying to keep from crying. He couldn’t cry, not here, not when the others could hear. He had to focus, he reminded himself. Protect them.
“Bryan?”
He jumped a little and reached up to scrub at his eyes with his gloves, trying to hide the fact that they’d felt a little watery. “Yeah?” He asked softly, voice wavering a little as he watched Clarke exit the cave and come to stand by him. When she didn’t say anything, he assumed that she didn’t notice what he was doing, and that she was just going to join him in standing guard too.
“Why do you seem standoffish?” Clarke spoke up after a long moment, startling Bryan and making him look at her in confusion. She gave him a gentle smile, moving her hand to put it on his arm, “You were always such a sweet kid, Bryan. I’d see you running around Farm Station or with Miller, and you were always so kind, talking to everyone and doing what you could to help out. You do that here too, but when you’re with just the group…”
“I’m quiet,” Bryan mumbled softly in response, glancing at Clarke as he felt her squeeze his arm and saw her now. He took a deep, shaky breath and leaned his head back, taking a moment to try and not sound as if the tears were closer now. “Do you…” He took another deep breath, “Do you ever think that things would have been different? If I’d been arrested too? If I’d been sent down here? If I was… If I was one of you guys?”
“… one of us?” Clarke looked at Bryan in confusion and concern, “Bryan, just because you weren’t arrested or sent down here with the group doesn’t mean that you’re not one of us.” She shifted to be able to look at him better, heart breaking at seeing the way his eyes were so watery, and as a single tear finally started to roll down his cheek, she reached up to cup his cheek gently and get him to look at her.
“You are one of us, Bryan. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t arrested, or if you weren’t here when we landed. You’re our friend, and Miller’s boyfriend. You have always, and will always, be one of us, okay?” Clarke spoke softly as Bryan started to quietly cry.
“I don’t feel like it…” Bryan choked out with a soft sob, “You guys… you’re always talking about the elite one hundred of you that were here first, and how you’ve all been through so much together, and how close you all are, and I… I wasn’t here for that. I was stuck on the Ark or stuck in Ice Nation, and I wasn’t here to help, I was alone and I just… I just wanted to… to belong, and I didn’t feel like I did.”
“You do belong,” Clarke whispered fiercely, wrapping her arms around Bryan and hugging him tightly as he cried, “I’m so sorry that you didn’t feel that way, but you do, Bryan. You are one of us, forever and always and I hate that you felt like you’re not. You are just as much one of us as each of us are. Don’t you ever forget that, okay?”
Bryan took a shaky, labored breath as he heard Clarke’s words. He tried to focus as she spoke to him, but he felt so tired. They’d been attacked trying to get back to Arkadia from a patrol, and he’d stepped in front of the girl to try and protect her, and wanting to help her out. However, he’d gotten hurt, and bad, before he’d managed to take the grounder out. He shuddered weakly, opening his eyes again and trying to focus on Clarke.
“T-tell… tell N-nate…” He tried to mumble out, afraid that what she was doing wasn’t going to be enough to get them back to Arkadia, and that he wouldn’t be able to say what he needed to. He winced as he moved his arm, trying to grab onto her hand, needing her to pay attention to what he was trying to say, desperate to try and make things right.
indiebryan 