do you ever silently begin to ship something but you’re not sure if your partner feels the same, because it’s such a fucking terrifying thing to even think about becoming the thirsty ship person who forces ships down other people’s throats so you… just… stand there… in angst.. with your quiet headcanons and thE SINKING FUTURE FOR A SHIP THAT WILL NOT SAIL BECAUSE YOU’RE A GODDAMN TERRIB LE WRITEr
The holidays always made Bryan feel really emotional. His family and friends meant the most to him, and the holidays were a reminder of that; and for him, a way to do what he could to try and show them just how much they meant to him. He didn’t have much, of course, especially this year when the farm wasn’t doing as well as his father had hoped it would, despite all their work for it. Instead, the gifts he’d gotten people were simple, things that he’d made himself, either in the workshop or just something he thought that his friends would like, that showed that he cared for them.
He’d invited them all over for a small get together, so he could surprise them with what he’d done, and also just to have them around. He’d cooked dinner, and eventually handed out the things he’d made to everyone. Fox’s gift was something he was proud of; a carved painted wooden figure of a fox, with a small wooden painted crown of flowers to put on it’s head. It had taken him awhile to work on it, and he was proud of how well it’d turned out. He hoped that she liked it.
Before handing her the box, he got up and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and taking in a deep breath. Fox was like family to him. They all were like family to him. He was sure that if they weren’t around, he’d be completely lost. As he started to pull back, he couldn’t help but reach up, playfully ruffling her hair with a good-natured grin, before then reaching for the box and holding it out to her. “I hope you like it,” He stated with a chuckle, taking a step back and hoping she wouldn’t be too mad at him for messing with her hair.
Bryan hadn’t realized just how jumpy he was. Being in Arkadia was different; quiet, more peaceful than the four months that they’d spent in Ice Nation, jumping at every little sound or movement as they tried to stay alert and alive. He hadn’t quite managed to settle into life in Arkadia yet, and while Nate had guard duty, he’d been wandering around by himself to try and reacquaint himself with the people, and the feeling of at least being safe within the walls. So, when he’d turned the corner and nearly ran into the girl, and then nearly ran into the wall in his jumpiness at being surprised, he expected to hear that question.
“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to almost run into you,” He apologized quickly, reaching up to shakily rub the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. Yes, this was why he wasn’t on the guard and why he’d quickly given up his gun that Pike had convinced him to carry. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially in his fear. “Um, I’m Bryan,” He held his hand out then, feeling a little sheepish at the fact that he didn’t recognize her face, and wanting to at least be polite after he’d jumped like that.
“I’M SURPRISED THAT YOU SURVIVED,” she mutters low, that gravely tone making her words coarse as they sit in the expanse between them. her lips purse together as she glances over at jackson & miller… then back towards him. “tough break.” she makes to move towards the rations area they have set up in the camp. “guess that’s what you get, though.” the red queen takes one of the small squares of cured meat. sinks her teeth into it & tugs. tries to forget where it comes from as she chews. “for being pike’s bitch.”
Bryan is quiet, glancing over at Octavia at hearing her low, gravely tone. He’s honestly not surprised to hear it from her; he’d done his best to lay low in the bunker, and had actually started to get along with the grounders. He was a loyal follower of bloodrina, but had worked hard to fly under the radar and just survive. When she glances at Miller and Jackson and then back at him, he chances a glance at the two as well… and feels the same nothingness towards it as he’d felt after the first few months in the bunker. Good for them, if they were happy. It’s Octavia’s words that get his attention again though, glancing back at her and watching quietly as she takes one of the rations.
“I wasn’t Pike’s bitch,” His voice is faint, empty, “I gave up on that to be at Nate’s side. We were still together, until we had to go to Ice Nation. His unwillingness to save our people… and my walking away, are what cost us everything. He’s happy. That’s what matters.” He manages a faint shrug, because it’s stopped bothering him at this point. “So, does it make me your bitch if I’m loyal to you now?” Its a tiny attempt at a tease, as if the old Bryan is still in there somewhere.
Well, this kid had the whole package, didn’t he? Both parents still alive and a boyfriend. Granted, his boyfriend was locked up too, but this one definitely wasn’t getting floated when he turned eighteen. So there was a pretty good chance that he’d make it out and have his happily ever after. Murphy, on the other hand…
“Doesn’t sound too bad, all things considered,” he replied, turning around and leaning against the door so he couldn’t see the kid. “And hey, maybe they’ll let you out early for good behavior. I hear they do that, especially if your crime involves petty theft.” Murphy grinned, but the smile didn’t quite reach his lips. “So you probably don’t have to get too comfortable here. Too bad your boyfriend’s locked up. I don’t think they’ll let you guys visit at all.”
He saw visitors sometimes, coming to see their friends. Parents to see their kids. All the visits Murphy ever got were from guards who liked to take their frustration out on him. That was fine; it helped pass the time.
Bryan couldn’t help the guilt that he felt when the other boy turned around and leaned against the door to have his back to him. He knew he was lucky; and he felt awful for the other boy. It was one of those times where he really didn’t know what to say, and he was sure that whatever he did say would make it even worse. He wasn’t completely sure if he wouldn’t get floated or not, but the other was right; it was just petty theft and it wasn’t like he’d done it on purpose.
“… Is it bad if I don’t want them to?” It was a blurted response, and Bryan ducked his head some, turning to face the other way too so that the other wouldn’t see how embarrassed he was. It sounded stupid, so stupid, and he wanted to kick himself… but also he didn’t want to take it back. He was struggling without Nate, and the thought of getting out early, but Nate not getting out… It made him want to do something, change something.
“I guess, I just don’t want to be out if he’s not… That sounds insane, doesn’t it?” His voice was softer as he thought about it, and the guilt piled on a little more. He should be grateful, he thought, not thinking about how he was going to get locked up again to be with Nate if they let him go. They say that love makes you do crazy things, right? That was what Bryan was thinking; love.
indiebryan 